SCOTT PILGRIM vs. THE WORLD

Scott Pilgrim vs the world

You know your hair? ... I know of it.... its blue... I dye my hair every week and half dude get used to it.
Scott is one of those films i became obsessed with for a period of a few months and watched at unhealthy intervals, sometimes id sit down to watch it and sometimes id have it on in the background while doing something else but it basically did not leave my ps3 for a solid 4 months. Scott Pilgrim is the story of a 22 Canadian with dreams of hitting the music industry hard. Its told in a very unique style fusing its original comic book style with comedy and romance. This is a NERDS movie, if you do not like the following do not watch Scott Pilgrim.

• Music
• Comic books
• Good times
• Video game references
• Epic fight sequences
• Good times.

Some people were unsure of Micael Cera playing one of their favorite comic book heroes but I think he pulled it off making Scott funny and believable, Even if Cera has become a ridiculous meme...

Best bit

The absolute best bits for me are all the really nerdy little video game references that only a fan of said series would pick up on. The prominent theme in the movie is Zelda, the little sound bites, the sword, the little hearts, the mentions of it, its everywhere in this thing. The first time I watched this I really loved when Scott randomly broke out the battle theme to finial fantasy 6 on the bass! classic! Also its a very quotable film, with clever dialogue and it helps that the cast are really likable. The music is so fucking catchy I immediately had to obtain the soundtrack with features really great artists such as Beck, Frank Black and Metric. Whats also very impressive is that the actors in the films band Sex bob-omb (mario reference) all learned to play their instrument before going into the film, Commitment. I dunno about you but this one of them films I just cant get sick of, I could watch it all day, it just makes me so happy.

Worst bit 

Worst part is...... theres no sequel! hmm suppose theres a kind of feel like they are trying a bit too hard to bring the whole coffee shop/hanging out grungey vibe back... but with a film like this so polished and clean and so well done, it doesnt really work... if it had those sensibilities but yet was rooted in real life without the whole superhero thing it would work far better. My grunge theory is supported by Frank Black being on the soundtrack who sung in the Pixies.

What it means to me

I originally missed this in the cinemas in 2010 but caught it on dvd the next year where my obsession began... It also became one of the first thing my girlfriend and I bonded over, she loved it and I loved it too. I bought her one of the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels.. she loved it... thanks Scott.

Summing up

Scott Pilgrim vs the world is a nice easy going romantic comedy, For nerds. If u arent into videogames and music you'll enjoy it... but probably wont GET it. In order to get it you really need to be a nerd. Dont hate on the Scott, hes only 22........22.

ROBOCOP

Robocop

Robcop... DEAD OR ALIVE YOU'RE COMING WITH ME! this movie is so fucking under rated. After The Terminator in 1984 there were a lot of robot sci fi films released afterwards, this is one of the better ones, even released by the same company Orion. Released in 1987 and directed by Paul Verhoven one of my favorite directors ever who went on to make Total recall, Basic Instinct and Starship Troopers. Long story short its a revenge film or id go as far as saying its basically a futuristic western. Cop gets killed by gang of criminals and brought back to somewhat life as a crime fighting cyborg to seek his revenge on the gang that killed him, Robocop. He has that weird helmet on where you can kinda see his mouth but he takes it off sometimes and u can see his whole face,  sort of looks like that fucker from REM without it, creepy.

Best bit

Best bit is the fucking VIOLENCE! Verhoven is some man for blood and shooting and gore, so fucking much! people get shot and they basically explode, like the bit near the end where one of the goons accidentally crashes into a vat of toxic waste and fucking turns into a horrific mutant before getting hit with a car and liquidating, fucking savage. The scene where Murphy is killed is UNBELIEVABLY graphic with the gang standing and shooting him to pieces laughing like hyenas, he just stands there yelling as his limbs are falling off! Also the acting is very good, the character of Alex Murphy (robocop) has frequent flashbacks about his wife and son who have moved on since his death and are unaware he is back as Robocop. He evens remembers his old home and goes back and looks around, you really do feel for him and shows a lot of emotion even just with a small portion of his face exposed. And as he picks off the gang members one by one who killed him you feel like them scumbags are getting what they deserve. Theres a load of little things I love about this movie, like all the little tv adverts poking fun at the absurdity of future America, ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!

Looks like an ex girlfriend of mine!

Worst bit

I think worst bit would have to be the fact its not better known? I dunno this is another one of those films where I cant find much fault in it really is brilliant. Suppose the bit where he has his helmet off and hes dreaming is a bit freaky, his eyes go back in his head and looks really derpy. 

What it means to me

After robocop there were 2 sequels with only the second one being pretty good, third being scutter. But after this there was a tv show i remember watching as a youngling. Which musnt have had much violence in it as i was allowed to watch during the day. I also remember going to the faithful old video shop with some friends and renting out the three films and having a robomarthon. Such geeks we were.

Summing up

Great fucking movie but not a lot of people outside sci fi nerds have seen it and this needs to change. Theres a remake on the way and judging from the pictures its going to be SSSSSSSSSHITE! Just watch the original and maybe the second one, second one is pretty good too but wasnt directed by Verhoven and isnt quite as gorey and I do love my gore! Really good on story/gore and action, so much beautiful action.

DEAD OR ALIVE YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

ANCHORMAN

ANCHORMAN

IF YOU DO NOT THINK THIS IS THE GREATEST FILM OF ALL TIME..... YOU ARE PROBABLY A CUNT.

Anchorman: the legend of Ron Burgandy is the 2004 comedy directed by Adam Mckay, starring Will Ferrall and Paul Rudd. The time is the 1970's where the news anchor was revered as a god and treated as one too.

Ron Burgandy leads his merry cast of men through their toughest battle yet... a woman in the news room. Its hilarious how threatened they are by Veronica Corningstone and don't know whether to fight her or fuck her, Ron does both. They also do battle against the other news networks in the city along with channel 2 news lead by the nefarious Wes Mantooth and his saintly mother. Brick has to be one of the greatest characters in film history, he is literally a bag of quotes, heres a few.

"Loud noises" 

"Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."  

"I ate a big, red candle".  

"I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party".  

"Where'd you get your clothes... from the... toilet store?"  

"Hey, Ron. I'm riding a furry tractor"

And so on.

Best bit 

The best bits are from 00 to 94 minutes.I really cant say a bad thing about this film because who can, its just such a classic.The characters are hilarious and so memorable and really feel like characters, you could be out with your friends and say something and someone would say 'oh that's such a brick thing to say' and how often do movies have random musical numbers in it?! AFTERNOON DELIGHT FUCK YEAAAH! One of the best scenes is Ron and Veronica having there back and forth live on air whilst the news team is trying to sabotage her, Heres Ron Burgandy and Tits Mcgee!

Worst bit

The credits.

What it means to me

Saw this in the cinema when it first came out and laughed my tits off. Rented it the second it came out on dvd and bought it soon after. A quote from it can be used in any situation in life, its just perfect.I own three copies inadvertently which says quite a lot... definitely says a lot! the picture below also speaks louder than words....

VS

Classy as fuck.

Summing up

If Ron Burgandy says it.... its the truth! if you haven't seen it already buy a copy! or three! Many a night has heard the war cry, NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Do it now... or im going to shoot you... straight in the ovaries.... with a bb gun...

The Fly

THE FLY

Ahhhhh The Fly, a light hearted comedy that the family can enjoy. Directed by David Cronenberg one of special effects most prolific directors he always focuses on the biological and stuff that happens from within us, having directed scanners and possibly one of the most fucked up movies in history VIDEODROME people expect a lot of gore from his films and this one is no exception. The Fly is actually a remake of the 1958 film of the same name and stars Jeff Goldblum and the always gummy Geena Davis. Seth Brundel played by Goldblum invents two teleportation pods which allow for instant travel, Best idea EVAR right? upon showing gummy played by Davis his creation a fly sneaks in to the pod with him fusing their DNA and slowly turning Seth into a half human half fly abomination through the course of the film. At first he feels amazing, having super human strength, going for hours in the sack, going out and arm wrestling some guy to the point where the guys wrist fucking snaps because he is so strong. After a while he begins to change, bits of him start to fall off and he becomes a fucking leper basically. Going from superhero to hyper sick I know that feeling bro....

VS 

Who is the true abomination? 

Best bit

The special effects stand out by far as the best part of the movie, I think the mid to late 80's practical special effects and makeup reached its peak. After that CG came in and sort of made it irrelevant. But Id put the fly up there with The Thing, Aliens and Day of the Dead as some of the best practical special effects ever. The bit where he acid vomits all over the guys hand at the end is great, just like a fly. his character is also fantastic. At first he thinks god feeling amazing after the transport not realizing what has happened to him then he begins to break down, he gets scared and doesn't leave his flat. After a while he begins to come to terms with what is happening to him and embraces his new form of digestion. Also gotta put the good old 80's mullets in there, whats better than having long hair and short hair at the same time, Answer?: NOTHING.

(Background: Mullet, Foreground: Mullet)

Worst Bit

I dunno this one ranks in as one of my faves... Suppose the scenes between gorey bits are a bit boring, with a lot of technical jargon being spued about how the teleportation pods work which i don't mind but some people would find it boring. Also its essentially the beauty and the beast story retold so ya kinda know whats gonna happen already.

What it means to me

No surprise I saw this one pretty young too, I had this really shitty tv in my room till I was about 12. It was black and white and used to randomly blackout every now and then, it was so bad I didn't know what fucking colour Sonic was till I was 12... I caught the ending one night and thought it was fantastic until the screen went black and all I could hear were voices so I had to guess what was going on. 

Summing up

Loved this film for years and try to watch it every now and again. The sequel wasn't bad even thought it gets a lot of hate, it features Seths son and how he has the same condition as his father which is brought on by reaching adulthood, Id reccomend checking out both of them. Also they made a musical of this, how fucking deadly is that! =D

Alien3

Alien3

Oh Alien3.... so many mixed emotions.... so much to say about this film... most of it hate. Released in 1992 and directed by first timer David Fincher who went on to direct little films called fight club, se7en and the social network. The style and look of the film is excellent even if it does include some ropey early 90's CGI but its dark, grainy and moody. After the events of Aliens something goes wrong with the ship Ripley, Newt, Bishop and Hicks are on board and it ejects their lifeboat crash landing on a prison plant populated by only men, Ripley is the only survivor so no one mention rape, ok?.... Funnily enough the only people raped were the AUDIENCE! Newt, Hicks and Bishop all die in the first five minutes of the film, characters we invested in and cared about in Aliens, sound movie, real sound.

Best Bit

Hmmmmm good things about the movie are the fact it goes back to just one alien like in the original, Which is kinda cool because on the prison planet they have no weapons to fight it with so its a battle of wits to try and take the beast down. The alien in this one is different to the previous ones in that the face hugger attached to a dog so the alien took on the traits of a dog, running on four legs and what not, an interesting theory explored more in Prometheus.The creature effects are really great, the chestburster at the end is pretty cool and the dog- alien really likes to put holes in skulls. Also I liked the references to Aliens but they are so few and far between. :(

Worst bit

Ahh poor Alien3........ it was a bit fucked from the get go. Just following up to James Camerons perfect sequel was hard enough but when u kill off characters in the first five minutes you really cared about in the previous film you don't help your film that much, I can kind of get the fresh start thing but alien3 followed one of the greatest sequels of all time and shit all over it so basically Aliens didn't happen. The ending is one of the most depressing endings ever, Almost everybody dies bar one convict. Characters we begin to like are killed off way too early and Ripley is just miserable. This film is widely hated by Alien fans, I do like it but I think it was a wasted opportunity to have Ripley Newt and Hicks continue on and kick Xenomorph ass, if they have them. Also with Ripleys shaved head she looks like fucking Sinead o' Connor, Nothing compares to you Sigorney.

What it means to me

I saw Alien3 when I was pretty young about ten I think, got introduced to all the Aliens at that age. I loved the horror and how interesting it looked but also all the technology in the films and how everything worked. Even when I saw it then I thought it was depressing as fuck and nothing has changed.

Summing up

Alien3 is a good horror/sci fi film but compared to the others it really isn't as good. It ended as a trilogy but fans were so displeased with the ending that fix had to make a sequel bringing Ripley back from the dead in alien Resurrection which I shall discuss another day. But yeah Alien3 pretty good but depressing as FUCK. check it out but have something happy planned for afterwards...

  

House on haunted hill

House on haunted hill

First off a lot of people don't like this remake of the 1959 film... fuck them! starring Geoffrey Rush and a bunch of other people this is the story of a group of strangers who are picked at 'random' to spend the night in an abandoned insane asylum. The person who stays the whole night wins one million dollars.The original starred Vincent Price and the remake stars Geoffrey Rush who looks just like him actually and gives a fantastic performance. This would fall under the blanket of late 90's early 2000's new wave of teen horror slashers but I have a lot of personal reasons for loving this film.

Best bit

I really love this movie, I seen it when it first came out and it scared the crap out of me.The acting is pretty good, it looks really crisp, has a really cool stop motion credits into and the MUSIC is creepy as fuck, has a strong presence in the film with a great theme that runs all the way through it. Favorite scene is when the character of price is locked in this big metal chamber which was used in the 30's for supposedly curing insanity, turning a mad man sane or a sane man mad. He is bombarded with bizarre imagery and strange noises until he TRIPS THE FUCK OUT, what follows is equal to an 80's obligatory montage, a horrible series of images that don't make any sense but warped the fuck out of my mind.You know in horror movies when a character does that spiny blurry head thing and its freaky as fuck? yeah lot of that going on here. 

Worst bit

Id have to say the ending SPOILER ALERT its your average 'oh we defeated the evil just as the sun comes up' lark and its just a bit gay. Also i didn't like that the guy from Night at the roxbury got killed, the film would have been 100% cooler if he just started dancing with the homicidal ghosts to what is love?  

What it means to me

Ah yes, the main reason I wrote this review. I rented this motherfucker out with a friend and we watched it one night I had a free house. Letting nine year olds to rent eighteens films isn't a great idea when it scars them for life and gives them nightmares! in a good  way of course. I remember the shaky blurry face thing petrifying me but loving it at the same time. The next day we got up and watched it again, it wasn't as scary watching it in the light of the day and we even laughed at some of the bits, I tried to make fun of the scary parts so I wouldn't be scared!

Summing up

House on haunted hill (1999) is a great chiller/horror with a bit of who done it thrown in too. Id recommend it!

Re-Animator

Re-Animator

H.P. Lovecrafts Re-Animator was originally written in the 1920's but was modernized for this 1985 re telling. Taking a lot of inspiration from Frankenstein (even with the sequel being called Bride of Re-Animator) this is a great eighties gorefest. Like Night of the living dead and Evil Dead Before it this has become a cult classic from a very low budget. I think its become more so famous for its effects than the film its self and another thing that sets it apart from a lot of eighties splatter films is that there is a lot of humor in it! something that at times is the films downfall. Re-Animator is the story of mad scientist Herbert West and his creation of a serum that gives life after death but with horrible consequences, the people who come back to life end up going fucking insane. These aren't traditional zombies that eat everything in sight they mostly just go crazy and murder people. 

Best bit.

best bit in Re-Animator would definitely be the special effects. Eyeballs popping out of skulls, fingers being bitten off and zombie cat fucked against a wall to have its brain smear slowly down. The best gag of the film is when West kills a professor who was going to take credit for his serum and then injects it in his severed head. the body and head come to life and that's when the comedy starts to come into the film. The body and head act like separate characters with the body crashing into walls and the head sitting in a dish of blood looking over un impressed. But THE absalute best bit is when the head/body combo takes hostage the deans daughter, strips her naked and ties her to an operating table. She awakes to see the headless body infront of her ad begins to scream as the head rasply says "thats it! more passssssssssion"  as body lowers the head between her legs, a head giving head....... lol

Worst bit

Something that kind of annoyed me about the film is it feels kid of dated. It was only made in 1985 but it feels older than that, some movies from the seventies feel fresher than it. Everyone's clothes and hair is just old looking and looks more early seventies than mid eighties. Kind of looks like the set of murder she wrote with more blood and heads giving head, thank god Angela Lansbury wasn't around for that. One other thing that kind of grinds my gears is the comedy element that comes in roughly in the second act, its good and all but I think it would have been a stronger film if it focused more on the pure horror elements and less on the body walking around with its head in a bag and when he takes it out it says "Ahhh thats better" because the gore is really fucking good.

What it means to me

Hmmm I only seen this one not too long ago about 2 years maybe, picked it up on dvd. Always seen it in Fangoria an American horror magazine and the actor that played Herbert West is always going to horror conventions so I thought it must be good if it has this big a following, it is a great film but I gotta admit I was a little let down, little too much drama, not enough gore.

Summing up

A great splatter horror only let down by a bit too much love story relationship stuff, but the gore is really fucking good and the character of West is great and steals the show, see it!