ANCHORMAN

ANCHORMAN

IF YOU DO NOT THINK THIS IS THE GREATEST FILM OF ALL TIME..... YOU ARE PROBABLY A CUNT.

Anchorman: the legend of Ron Burgandy is the 2004 comedy directed by Adam Mckay, starring Will Ferrall and Paul Rudd. The time is the 1970's where the news anchor was revered as a god and treated as one too.

Ron Burgandy leads his merry cast of men through their toughest battle yet... a woman in the news room. Its hilarious how threatened they are by Veronica Corningstone and don't know whether to fight her or fuck her, Ron does both. They also do battle against the other news networks in the city along with channel 2 news lead by the nefarious Wes Mantooth and his saintly mother. Brick has to be one of the greatest characters in film history, he is literally a bag of quotes, heres a few.

"Loud noises" 

"Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."  

"I ate a big, red candle".  

"I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party".  

"Where'd you get your clothes... from the... toilet store?"  

"Hey, Ron. I'm riding a furry tractor"

And so on.

Best bit 

The best bits are from 00 to 94 minutes.I really cant say a bad thing about this film because who can, its just such a classic.The characters are hilarious and so memorable and really feel like characters, you could be out with your friends and say something and someone would say 'oh that's such a brick thing to say' and how often do movies have random musical numbers in it?! AFTERNOON DELIGHT FUCK YEAAAH! One of the best scenes is Ron and Veronica having there back and forth live on air whilst the news team is trying to sabotage her, Heres Ron Burgandy and Tits Mcgee!

Worst bit

The credits.

What it means to me

Saw this in the cinema when it first came out and laughed my tits off. Rented it the second it came out on dvd and bought it soon after. A quote from it can be used in any situation in life, its just perfect.I own three copies inadvertently which says quite a lot... definitely says a lot! the picture below also speaks louder than words....

VS

Classy as fuck.

Summing up

If Ron Burgandy says it.... its the truth! if you haven't seen it already buy a copy! or three! Many a night has heard the war cry, NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Do it now... or im going to shoot you... straight in the ovaries.... with a bb gun...

The Fly

THE FLY

Ahhhhh The Fly, a light hearted comedy that the family can enjoy. Directed by David Cronenberg one of special effects most prolific directors he always focuses on the biological and stuff that happens from within us, having directed scanners and possibly one of the most fucked up movies in history VIDEODROME people expect a lot of gore from his films and this one is no exception. The Fly is actually a remake of the 1958 film of the same name and stars Jeff Goldblum and the always gummy Geena Davis. Seth Brundel played by Goldblum invents two teleportation pods which allow for instant travel, Best idea EVAR right? upon showing gummy played by Davis his creation a fly sneaks in to the pod with him fusing their DNA and slowly turning Seth into a half human half fly abomination through the course of the film. At first he feels amazing, having super human strength, going for hours in the sack, going out and arm wrestling some guy to the point where the guys wrist fucking snaps because he is so strong. After a while he begins to change, bits of him start to fall off and he becomes a fucking leper basically. Going from superhero to hyper sick I know that feeling bro....

VS 

Who is the true abomination? 

Best bit

The special effects stand out by far as the best part of the movie, I think the mid to late 80's practical special effects and makeup reached its peak. After that CG came in and sort of made it irrelevant. But Id put the fly up there with The Thing, Aliens and Day of the Dead as some of the best practical special effects ever. The bit where he acid vomits all over the guys hand at the end is great, just like a fly. his character is also fantastic. At first he thinks god feeling amazing after the transport not realizing what has happened to him then he begins to break down, he gets scared and doesn't leave his flat. After a while he begins to come to terms with what is happening to him and embraces his new form of digestion. Also gotta put the good old 80's mullets in there, whats better than having long hair and short hair at the same time, Answer?: NOTHING.

(Background: Mullet, Foreground: Mullet)

Worst Bit

I dunno this one ranks in as one of my faves... Suppose the scenes between gorey bits are a bit boring, with a lot of technical jargon being spued about how the teleportation pods work which i don't mind but some people would find it boring. Also its essentially the beauty and the beast story retold so ya kinda know whats gonna happen already.

What it means to me

No surprise I saw this one pretty young too, I had this really shitty tv in my room till I was about 12. It was black and white and used to randomly blackout every now and then, it was so bad I didn't know what fucking colour Sonic was till I was 12... I caught the ending one night and thought it was fantastic until the screen went black and all I could hear were voices so I had to guess what was going on. 

Summing up

Loved this film for years and try to watch it every now and again. The sequel wasn't bad even thought it gets a lot of hate, it features Seths son and how he has the same condition as his father which is brought on by reaching adulthood, Id reccomend checking out both of them. Also they made a musical of this, how fucking deadly is that! =D

Alien3

Alien3

Oh Alien3.... so many mixed emotions.... so much to say about this film... most of it hate. Released in 1992 and directed by first timer David Fincher who went on to direct little films called fight club, se7en and the social network. The style and look of the film is excellent even if it does include some ropey early 90's CGI but its dark, grainy and moody. After the events of Aliens something goes wrong with the ship Ripley, Newt, Bishop and Hicks are on board and it ejects their lifeboat crash landing on a prison plant populated by only men, Ripley is the only survivor so no one mention rape, ok?.... Funnily enough the only people raped were the AUDIENCE! Newt, Hicks and Bishop all die in the first five minutes of the film, characters we invested in and cared about in Aliens, sound movie, real sound.

Best Bit

Hmmmmm good things about the movie are the fact it goes back to just one alien like in the original, Which is kinda cool because on the prison planet they have no weapons to fight it with so its a battle of wits to try and take the beast down. The alien in this one is different to the previous ones in that the face hugger attached to a dog so the alien took on the traits of a dog, running on four legs and what not, an interesting theory explored more in Prometheus.The creature effects are really great, the chestburster at the end is pretty cool and the dog- alien really likes to put holes in skulls. Also I liked the references to Aliens but they are so few and far between. :(

Worst bit

Ahh poor Alien3........ it was a bit fucked from the get go. Just following up to James Camerons perfect sequel was hard enough but when u kill off characters in the first five minutes you really cared about in the previous film you don't help your film that much, I can kind of get the fresh start thing but alien3 followed one of the greatest sequels of all time and shit all over it so basically Aliens didn't happen. The ending is one of the most depressing endings ever, Almost everybody dies bar one convict. Characters we begin to like are killed off way too early and Ripley is just miserable. This film is widely hated by Alien fans, I do like it but I think it was a wasted opportunity to have Ripley Newt and Hicks continue on and kick Xenomorph ass, if they have them. Also with Ripleys shaved head she looks like fucking Sinead o' Connor, Nothing compares to you Sigorney.

What it means to me

I saw Alien3 when I was pretty young about ten I think, got introduced to all the Aliens at that age. I loved the horror and how interesting it looked but also all the technology in the films and how everything worked. Even when I saw it then I thought it was depressing as fuck and nothing has changed.

Summing up

Alien3 is a good horror/sci fi film but compared to the others it really isn't as good. It ended as a trilogy but fans were so displeased with the ending that fix had to make a sequel bringing Ripley back from the dead in alien Resurrection which I shall discuss another day. But yeah Alien3 pretty good but depressing as FUCK. check it out but have something happy planned for afterwards...