ANCHORMAN

ANCHORMAN

IF YOU DO NOT THINK THIS IS THE GREATEST FILM OF ALL TIME..... YOU ARE PROBABLY A CUNT.

Anchorman: the legend of Ron Burgandy is the 2004 comedy directed by Adam Mckay, starring Will Ferrall and Paul Rudd. The time is the 1970's where the news anchor was revered as a god and treated as one too.

Ron Burgandy leads his merry cast of men through their toughest battle yet... a woman in the news room. Its hilarious how threatened they are by Veronica Corningstone and don't know whether to fight her or fuck her, Ron does both. They also do battle against the other news networks in the city along with channel 2 news lead by the nefarious Wes Mantooth and his saintly mother. Brick has to be one of the greatest characters in film history, he is literally a bag of quotes, heres a few.

"Loud noises" 

"Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."  

"I ate a big, red candle".  

"I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party".  

"Where'd you get your clothes... from the... toilet store?"  

"Hey, Ron. I'm riding a furry tractor"

And so on.

Best bit 

The best bits are from 00 to 94 minutes.I really cant say a bad thing about this film because who can, its just such a classic.The characters are hilarious and so memorable and really feel like characters, you could be out with your friends and say something and someone would say 'oh that's such a brick thing to say' and how often do movies have random musical numbers in it?! AFTERNOON DELIGHT FUCK YEAAAH! One of the best scenes is Ron and Veronica having there back and forth live on air whilst the news team is trying to sabotage her, Heres Ron Burgandy and Tits Mcgee!

Worst bit

The credits.

What it means to me

Saw this in the cinema when it first came out and laughed my tits off. Rented it the second it came out on dvd and bought it soon after. A quote from it can be used in any situation in life, its just perfect.I own three copies inadvertently which says quite a lot... definitely says a lot! the picture below also speaks louder than words....

VS

Classy as fuck.

Summing up

If Ron Burgandy says it.... its the truth! if you haven't seen it already buy a copy! or three! Many a night has heard the war cry, NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Do it now... or im going to shoot you... straight in the ovaries.... with a bb gun...

The Fly

THE FLY

Ahhhhh The Fly, a light hearted comedy that the family can enjoy. Directed by David Cronenberg one of special effects most prolific directors he always focuses on the biological and stuff that happens from within us, having directed scanners and possibly one of the most fucked up movies in history VIDEODROME people expect a lot of gore from his films and this one is no exception. The Fly is actually a remake of the 1958 film of the same name and stars Jeff Goldblum and the always gummy Geena Davis. Seth Brundel played by Goldblum invents two teleportation pods which allow for instant travel, Best idea EVAR right? upon showing gummy played by Davis his creation a fly sneaks in to the pod with him fusing their DNA and slowly turning Seth into a half human half fly abomination through the course of the film. At first he feels amazing, having super human strength, going for hours in the sack, going out and arm wrestling some guy to the point where the guys wrist fucking snaps because he is so strong. After a while he begins to change, bits of him start to fall off and he becomes a fucking leper basically. Going from superhero to hyper sick I know that feeling bro....

VS 

Who is the true abomination? 

Best bit

The special effects stand out by far as the best part of the movie, I think the mid to late 80's practical special effects and makeup reached its peak. After that CG came in and sort of made it irrelevant. But Id put the fly up there with The Thing, Aliens and Day of the Dead as some of the best practical special effects ever. The bit where he acid vomits all over the guys hand at the end is great, just like a fly. his character is also fantastic. At first he thinks god feeling amazing after the transport not realizing what has happened to him then he begins to break down, he gets scared and doesn't leave his flat. After a while he begins to come to terms with what is happening to him and embraces his new form of digestion. Also gotta put the good old 80's mullets in there, whats better than having long hair and short hair at the same time, Answer?: NOTHING.

(Background: Mullet, Foreground: Mullet)

Worst Bit

I dunno this one ranks in as one of my faves... Suppose the scenes between gorey bits are a bit boring, with a lot of technical jargon being spued about how the teleportation pods work which i don't mind but some people would find it boring. Also its essentially the beauty and the beast story retold so ya kinda know whats gonna happen already.

What it means to me

No surprise I saw this one pretty young too, I had this really shitty tv in my room till I was about 12. It was black and white and used to randomly blackout every now and then, it was so bad I didn't know what fucking colour Sonic was till I was 12... I caught the ending one night and thought it was fantastic until the screen went black and all I could hear were voices so I had to guess what was going on. 

Summing up

Loved this film for years and try to watch it every now and again. The sequel wasn't bad even thought it gets a lot of hate, it features Seths son and how he has the same condition as his father which is brought on by reaching adulthood, Id reccomend checking out both of them. Also they made a musical of this, how fucking deadly is that! =D

Alien3

Alien3

Oh Alien3.... so many mixed emotions.... so much to say about this film... most of it hate. Released in 1992 and directed by first timer David Fincher who went on to direct little films called fight club, se7en and the social network. The style and look of the film is excellent even if it does include some ropey early 90's CGI but its dark, grainy and moody. After the events of Aliens something goes wrong with the ship Ripley, Newt, Bishop and Hicks are on board and it ejects their lifeboat crash landing on a prison plant populated by only men, Ripley is the only survivor so no one mention rape, ok?.... Funnily enough the only people raped were the AUDIENCE! Newt, Hicks and Bishop all die in the first five minutes of the film, characters we invested in and cared about in Aliens, sound movie, real sound.

Best Bit

Hmmmmm good things about the movie are the fact it goes back to just one alien like in the original, Which is kinda cool because on the prison planet they have no weapons to fight it with so its a battle of wits to try and take the beast down. The alien in this one is different to the previous ones in that the face hugger attached to a dog so the alien took on the traits of a dog, running on four legs and what not, an interesting theory explored more in Prometheus.The creature effects are really great, the chestburster at the end is pretty cool and the dog- alien really likes to put holes in skulls. Also I liked the references to Aliens but they are so few and far between. :(

Worst bit

Ahh poor Alien3........ it was a bit fucked from the get go. Just following up to James Camerons perfect sequel was hard enough but when u kill off characters in the first five minutes you really cared about in the previous film you don't help your film that much, I can kind of get the fresh start thing but alien3 followed one of the greatest sequels of all time and shit all over it so basically Aliens didn't happen. The ending is one of the most depressing endings ever, Almost everybody dies bar one convict. Characters we begin to like are killed off way too early and Ripley is just miserable. This film is widely hated by Alien fans, I do like it but I think it was a wasted opportunity to have Ripley Newt and Hicks continue on and kick Xenomorph ass, if they have them. Also with Ripleys shaved head she looks like fucking Sinead o' Connor, Nothing compares to you Sigorney.

What it means to me

I saw Alien3 when I was pretty young about ten I think, got introduced to all the Aliens at that age. I loved the horror and how interesting it looked but also all the technology in the films and how everything worked. Even when I saw it then I thought it was depressing as fuck and nothing has changed.

Summing up

Alien3 is a good horror/sci fi film but compared to the others it really isn't as good. It ended as a trilogy but fans were so displeased with the ending that fix had to make a sequel bringing Ripley back from the dead in alien Resurrection which I shall discuss another day. But yeah Alien3 pretty good but depressing as FUCK. check it out but have something happy planned for afterwards...

  

House on haunted hill

House on haunted hill

First off a lot of people don't like this remake of the 1959 film... fuck them! starring Geoffrey Rush and a bunch of other people this is the story of a group of strangers who are picked at 'random' to spend the night in an abandoned insane asylum. The person who stays the whole night wins one million dollars.The original starred Vincent Price and the remake stars Geoffrey Rush who looks just like him actually and gives a fantastic performance. This would fall under the blanket of late 90's early 2000's new wave of teen horror slashers but I have a lot of personal reasons for loving this film.

Best bit

I really love this movie, I seen it when it first came out and it scared the crap out of me.The acting is pretty good, it looks really crisp, has a really cool stop motion credits into and the MUSIC is creepy as fuck, has a strong presence in the film with a great theme that runs all the way through it. Favorite scene is when the character of price is locked in this big metal chamber which was used in the 30's for supposedly curing insanity, turning a mad man sane or a sane man mad. He is bombarded with bizarre imagery and strange noises until he TRIPS THE FUCK OUT, what follows is equal to an 80's obligatory montage, a horrible series of images that don't make any sense but warped the fuck out of my mind.You know in horror movies when a character does that spiny blurry head thing and its freaky as fuck? yeah lot of that going on here. 

Worst bit

Id have to say the ending SPOILER ALERT its your average 'oh we defeated the evil just as the sun comes up' lark and its just a bit gay. Also i didn't like that the guy from Night at the roxbury got killed, the film would have been 100% cooler if he just started dancing with the homicidal ghosts to what is love?  

What it means to me

Ah yes, the main reason I wrote this review. I rented this motherfucker out with a friend and we watched it one night I had a free house. Letting nine year olds to rent eighteens films isn't a great idea when it scars them for life and gives them nightmares! in a good  way of course. I remember the shaky blurry face thing petrifying me but loving it at the same time. The next day we got up and watched it again, it wasn't as scary watching it in the light of the day and we even laughed at some of the bits, I tried to make fun of the scary parts so I wouldn't be scared!

Summing up

House on haunted hill (1999) is a great chiller/horror with a bit of who done it thrown in too. Id recommend it!

Re-Animator

Re-Animator

H.P. Lovecrafts Re-Animator was originally written in the 1920's but was modernized for this 1985 re telling. Taking a lot of inspiration from Frankenstein (even with the sequel being called Bride of Re-Animator) this is a great eighties gorefest. Like Night of the living dead and Evil Dead Before it this has become a cult classic from a very low budget. I think its become more so famous for its effects than the film its self and another thing that sets it apart from a lot of eighties splatter films is that there is a lot of humor in it! something that at times is the films downfall. Re-Animator is the story of mad scientist Herbert West and his creation of a serum that gives life after death but with horrible consequences, the people who come back to life end up going fucking insane. These aren't traditional zombies that eat everything in sight they mostly just go crazy and murder people. 

Best bit.

best bit in Re-Animator would definitely be the special effects. Eyeballs popping out of skulls, fingers being bitten off and zombie cat fucked against a wall to have its brain smear slowly down. The best gag of the film is when West kills a professor who was going to take credit for his serum and then injects it in his severed head. the body and head come to life and that's when the comedy starts to come into the film. The body and head act like separate characters with the body crashing into walls and the head sitting in a dish of blood looking over un impressed. But THE absalute best bit is when the head/body combo takes hostage the deans daughter, strips her naked and ties her to an operating table. She awakes to see the headless body infront of her ad begins to scream as the head rasply says "thats it! more passssssssssion"  as body lowers the head between her legs, a head giving head....... lol

Worst bit

Something that kind of annoyed me about the film is it feels kid of dated. It was only made in 1985 but it feels older than that, some movies from the seventies feel fresher than it. Everyone's clothes and hair is just old looking and looks more early seventies than mid eighties. Kind of looks like the set of murder she wrote with more blood and heads giving head, thank god Angela Lansbury wasn't around for that. One other thing that kind of grinds my gears is the comedy element that comes in roughly in the second act, its good and all but I think it would have been a stronger film if it focused more on the pure horror elements and less on the body walking around with its head in a bag and when he takes it out it says "Ahhh thats better" because the gore is really fucking good.

What it means to me

Hmmm I only seen this one not too long ago about 2 years maybe, picked it up on dvd. Always seen it in Fangoria an American horror magazine and the actor that played Herbert West is always going to horror conventions so I thought it must be good if it has this big a following, it is a great film but I gotta admit I was a little let down, little too much drama, not enough gore.

Summing up

A great splatter horror only let down by a bit too much love story relationship stuff, but the gore is really fucking good and the character of West is great and steals the show, see it!

The toxic avenger

The toxic avenger

The toxic avenger.... holy shit what do I say about this one... made in 1984 and on the budget of nothing this is one of them most haywire, gory, hilarious, cringe inducing 'superhero' movies you will ever see. it follows the story of Melvin a skinny unpopular guy who mops up at the local pool, he gets on the temper of the local jocks who bully him into falling into a convenentialy placed barrel of nuclear waste and turns into ZE TOXIC AVENGER!!! an unfortunate looking monster that strangely has a different actor for his voice. He runs around town fighting crime and getting his own back on the bullies that tormented him, gets the girl you know the rest. 

Best bit

Too much to choose from, too much cheese! really bad one liners, some pretty cool special effects like when he gets dumped in the toxic waste then runs home and starts mutating is pretty cool. Also there's a fight with a random street gang and one of them is in drag for no apparent reason?! what the hell! I love the eighties! what kind of eighties film would it be without a montage? they were all over the place then and with scarface coming out the previous year it was inevitable, gotta have a montaaaaage.In this specific montage there's a scene of toxy ( I think that's his name you never really hear it ) faces the city in the background and throws his  fists at it in a 'come at me bro' fashion, Epic. Not to mention the gore! there's so much of it! there was a deleted scene where the gang of bullies drive around on a Friday night looking for people to run over (what else ya gonna do sure?) and run over a kid and his head explodes all over the road, it looked very real and graphic like something from the news!

Worst bit

If your looking for a film with production this isn't it. The editing is actually horrendous and its not even trying to be funny its just done really bad, jerky cuts really throw you off at times but that's the only real flaw, some people might consider the acting terrible but that's part of the films charm. also it hasn't aged very well, only made in eighty four and looks pretty crap.This isn't a B movie, its a Z!

What it means to me

I vaguely remember seeing this on television one night when I was very young, I remember Melvin falling into the acid and my dad kept changing the channel and I kept wanting him to go back to see what happened.Always stayed up late to watch what horrible films I could get away with! I recently found it on dvd pre owned in a gamestop for three quid and had to get it, Watched it with some friends and quoted the hell out of it. 

Summing up

Great little film to watch with friends for the absolute laugh, more so for the pure eighties cheese and nothing else. "Oh Melvin, you're beautiful!!!"

 

Step Brothers

Step Brothers

Step Brothers is a wacky comedy starring Will Ferrel and John c. Reilly and directed by Adam Mckay and was released in 2008.This is the story of two middle age losers who find each other when their parents marry. They get off on the wrong foot for a while but eventually come together and realise they are basically the same person which leads to a whole barrel of laughs as they try and get jobs.Both Ferrel and Reilly steal the show as being twelve year olds in 40 year old bodies and who could forget possibly forget the best thing to come from this film, boats nd hoes.Two things this film thought me, never ever wake up a sleep walker and don't ever touch another mans drum kit.

Best bit
Sooooooooo many good bits in this movie, nearly every line is a quote but I think the best bit is where unknown to each other they both sleepwalk and do ridiculous ridiculous things like destroy the house in the most outrageous fashion, or after their sleepwalking fest and Brennans mother wakes them up and they whimper "the clown has no penis" and "ill kill you leonard nimoy"....  I also really like the guys room loads of cool little things in the background you notice on multiple viewings like the 2 Metallica and Heavy Metal posters. And seriously I gotta get me some boats nd hoes..... Oh yeah there's drums in the movie too! =]

Worst bit
Hmmmmmm worst bit.... fuck no I cant do it to one of my favourite films! suppose when the two guys face off against a group of actual twelve year olds and get their asses kicked is a bit stupid, just because you have the mind of a twelve year old doesn't mean you have the body of one?! KICK THE SHITE OUT OF THEM! well.... there is the whole police thing to worry about but still! its pathetic how they do absolutely nothing and because of it Brennan gets a belly full of white dog crap.



What it means to me
Really wanted to see this in the cinema but I think I just missed it so picked it up on blu ray when it came out. I also remember staying in a college friends after a night out and the next day we were hungover wrecks and needed cheering up, so what do we do? stick on motherfuckin Step Brothers. soon our hungover wails were replaced with YOU DESTROYED MY BOAT YOU GOONS! to be quoted  forever.

Summing up
If you haven't seen Step Brothers..... stop reading and fucking see Step Brothers..... Bitch.

Night of the living dead (1990)

Night of the living dead (1990)

Night of the living dead is the remake of the 1968 film of the same name. Directed by Tom Savini the man who ALMOST did the special effects makeup for the original if it wasnt for that whole Vietnam war thing but did them for the two sequels Dawn of the dead(1978) and Day of the dead (1985). Everyone knows the story, few people caught in the middle of a zombie epidemic hold tight in an abandoned farm house for as long as they can. This is a fantastic film for fans of gore and splatter (directed by the king of splatter himself) but also physiological horror, as there are a lot of personality clashes going on with paranoia and tension very high.

Best bit

Best bit in my opinion would be the first 15 minutes, the intro because it simply is genius. it plays very close to the 68 version with similar dialogue and the characters looking almost identical. but when it comes to seeing the first zombie the audience expects it to be the same gimic, but its not. and then when you least expect it, BAM hideous zombie scares the shit out of you. and from there its basically the same story as the original except modernized, the characters are more real rather than 60's stereotypes where the husband regularly gave his wife a few slaps when she was being hysterical. one thing that made the original unique for its time was casting a black man as the lead which at the time was unheard of.

Worst bit

One scene in the film that annoys me just shows the stupidity of this character is when the inhabitants of the house realize there is a gas pump just up there road where they can fuel up and get out of there. they approach the pumps fighting off zombies as they do, one guy in the back of the pickup truck leaves his torch there and hops out to unlock the gas pump, after realizing he had the wrong keys he proceeds to take out his shotgun and blow the lock off! IDIOT! which then causes the whole thing to explode. just thinking about the what ifs which might have happened  if he didn't do that really grinds my gears.... 

What it means to me

I remember the day I got the dvd of Night of the living dead vividly because it was the same day I went to funderland with my cousins and got sick candy floss in the back seat of the car! i was about 12 at the time. Cant remember how I managed to get the dvd must have got someone to buy it for me. It was around this time my mam was getting pissed off with the amount of 18s movies in my collection! my horror obsession really kicked off at that age.

Summing up

Night of the living dead (1990) is one of the best remakes ever. Excellent directing, very good acting and GREAT special effects, a real horror hounds movie! hard to track down tho! hope yis all had a good halloween =]

The Evil Dead

The Evil Dead

The Evil Dead is a graphic horror directed by Sam Raimi (who went on to direct the GOOD spider man films) and stars Bruce Campbell and a host of unknowns who either became stay at home parents or into the porn industry. What sets Evil Dead apart from other films is it was one of the first to show absolutely over the top gore and at the same time be quite scary. Released in 1981 but filmed in 1979 with a lot of post production problems such as actually paying for the thing, it caused quite a stir and was banned in a lot of countries most famously being on the BBC's video nasty list along with the also excellent cannibal holocaust. 

Best bit

The best bits are a toss up between the absolute gore fest that is this film and the actual scary parts, the special effects are fantastic with pencils being gouged into ankles and blood shooting out to recently hacked body parts quivering on the floorboards and the best (and probably only) tree rape scene committed to film.

The scary parts are truly unnerving with the floating camera acting as the disembodied presence of the evil within the forest floating around ready to possess the next person it finds. the most powerful thing about the film though is a real sense of claustrophobia, these guys are stuck in this fucking cabin and are not going anywhere any time soon. When people run around the forest and it all starts to look the same you know its game over man, game over.

Worst Bit

Its hard to talk about a worst bit with evil dead because its such a fucking classic, but if i had to say it would probably be the acting. Some very cheesy dialogue here folks but hey it was the late 70's whaddya expect?

Also i may be proved completely wrong next year when the fucking REMAKE comes out but if it is crap (and hollywoods track record of remakes will probably make this so) people may be turned off watching the original if they have not seen it and do not like the remake which is a crime! hopefully it will be among the few ones that do it right like Texas chainsaw massacre  the fly and night of the living dead. So yeah very hard to fault this film!

What it means to me

When i first saw this I was really fucking young, My auntie would give me copies of my cousins old playstation magazine she was going to throw out and there was a big section on ratings in video games, this was caused by a lot of controversy over the level of violence in resident evil 2 released in 1998. There were a list of iconic horror films and pictures beside them, I remember seeing a picture of Ash with his face covered in blood thinking that looks really cool. Some time later I was in the square with a friend I had met in hospital and their older siblings, I convinced them to buy me Evil dead on video which was difficult as i was about 10 or 11 at the time. brought it home and sickened my friends. I distinctly remember one of my friends (who lived beside a forest) being absolutely traumatized by it and cursing me for showing it to him.  

Summing up

I would highly recommend The Evil Dead to fans of scare and gore, it balances the both pretty well and should be an inspiration for aspiring directors wanting to shoot a film with VERY little money. check it out.

Quick bio

I haven't had an online bio since bebo so i thought id include some information do i thought id let you know about me.

My name is Daragh i am twenty two years old and live in the scenic town of Blessington Co wicklow.

recently finished a three year film and media course in DBS.

I have a condition called cystic fibrosis so a lot of my time is take up doing medicine, one of the reasons I thought id start talking about film. 

My main two interests are film and music. I played in two bands over the years Kevin on a bike and McGalligog gigging up and down the country and overseas.

I have wrote/edited/directed a few of my own films over the years starting when i was eleven.

me on far left posing for album shots with mcgalligog

I am a self confessed horror film addict. my favorites would include George A. Remeros dead series, the evil dead series, texas chainsaw massacare, the fly, braindead, house on haunted hill, the alien series, and hellraiser to name a few.  

First reviews coming soon =]

What im doing here

Hello all!

Here I will be posting regular film reviews as it is an interest of mine and will be focusing on horror/comedy reviews. Ill try and keep them regular and interesting with my own take on things.